英語的小笑話
笑話是一種用來逗笑取樂的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學們在日常生活和學習中不時地會心一笑,還能從中學習到不少的英語知識。小編精心收集了英語小笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!
Keep Your Head
頭腦要保持冷靜!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.
有一個年輕人在一家雜貨店的農產部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜。
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我們東西都沒有賣半顆的。”
"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要問問經理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,
那名年輕人走到經理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨着他，他對經理說道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“經理，有個渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他轉身發現那名顧客，立刻又補充說：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而這位先生要買另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍後，經理把他拉到一旁說道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年輕人，你反應真快。我們需要像你這麼聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會記得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
幾個星期之後，經理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個經理的職位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，
“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來，“那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年輕人，我太太剛好來自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"
“真的嗎?經理，那她是打哪一個位置呢?”
英語小笑話短文篇2Home Sweet Home
還是家裏好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫生剛從非洲狩獵回來。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，實在太令人失望了，”外科醫生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什麼也沒獵殺到，實際上，還是待在醫院裏比較有成就感。”
英語小笑話短文篇3You Do Have a Problem
你真是有問題了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄對醫生說明他上廁所有困難。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫生問他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六點鐘。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情況如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像時鐘一樣，我每天準時七點鐘上大號。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那問題到底出在哪裏呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八點鐘才起牀。”
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