簡單好笑的英語小笑話
簡單好笑的英語小笑話一：不是我的錯
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的錯
媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。
女兒：媽，我只是握着貓尾巴，它自己在拽。
簡單好笑的英語小笑話二：I do not recognize you
Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!
Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!
一天老虎在沙灘散步，見到一隻螃蟹，就走過去想看個究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹叢裏跑。老虎痛得跳起來了，緊接着就追螃蟹!
追到樹叢就不見螃蟹了，這時老虎看見一隻守在大網中的蜘蛛，老虎對着蜘蛛發火了：好你個螃蟹!你以爲你上了網我就不認得你了!
簡單好笑的英語小笑話
簡單好笑的英語小笑話三：拳擊和賽跑
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎麼去拼搏。”朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎麼辦?”丹：“我也會教他怎麼樣賽跑呢。”
簡單好笑的英語小笑話四：Keep feeding him nickels
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進嘴裏吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的後背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛纔吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎麼辦呢?”孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”
簡單好笑的英語小笑話四：
Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday.
One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,"I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"
亨利是個美國人，他到倫敦來度假。
有一天他感到身體不舒服，於是走到旅館服務檯對服務員說:“我想看病，你能給我推薦一位好醫生嗎?”
The clerk looked in a book and then said , "Dr. Kenneth Grey , 61010."
Henry said，"Thank yon very much. Is he expensive?"
服務員查閱了一下本子，然後說:“肯尼思·格雷醫生，61010。"
亨利說:“非常感謝，他收費貴嗎?”
"Well, "the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits."
Henry decided to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said，"I've come again,doctor."
“喔，”服務員回答說:“他對初診患者收費兩英鎊，複診收費一點五英鎊。”
亨利想節省五十便士，所以他去看病時對醫生說:“我又來了，醫生。”
For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything.
Then he nodded and said，"Oh，yes. "He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do. Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time."
醫生仔細端詳着他的面孔，幾秒鐘沒說話。
然後點點頭說:“哦，是的。”給他做完檢查以後，醫生說:“病情發展正常。繼續服用上次我給你開的藥吧。”
