英文短篇冷笑話閱讀大全
前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裏有人,哪裏就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。下面是本站小編帶來的英文短篇冷笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
We share everything 我們分享一切
n elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores1 the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
一對老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯條分成兩份。
一個卡車司機非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨點一份。
“沒關係的。”老先生說，“我們分享一切。”
幾分鐘後，卡車司機注意到老太太還沒動口吃一點東西。
他再次對老先生說，“我真的不介意請您妻子吃一頓……”
“她會吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切。”
司機不太相信，懇求老太太，“你爲什麼不吃一點?”
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇二The winter will be cold or mild 今年冬天冷不冷
Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief neverlearned1 the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.
"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.
"Looks like it," is the answer.
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.
"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"
"Absolutely."
The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"
"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."
"How do you know?"
"Because the Indians are gathering2 firewood like crazy!"
印地安人問他們的新酋長，這個冬天是冷還是溫暖。這位年輕的酋長從沒學過祖先那些本領，他只好吩咐他們去撿木柴，然後自己走到一邊去給國家氣象局打電話。
“今年冬天會不會很冷?”他問。
“看上去是這樣的。”他得到這樣的回答。
於是酋長要求大家收集更多的木柴。一個星期後，他又打電話給國家氣象局。
“你確信今年冬天會很冷?”
“毫無疑問。”
酋長隨即要求族人撿更多的木柴，然後再次給國家氣象局打電話：“你肯定嗎?”
“我告訴你，那將是有史以來最寒冷的冬天。”
“你怎麼知道?”
“因爲印第安人正發瘋似地撿木柴!”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇三I'm not even thirsty 我一點都不渴
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested1 in college funds2. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
臨死之前，斯坦尼斯被他摯愛的家人包圍着。知道自己的最後時刻就要來了，他拿出所有力氣，輕聲耳語，“我必須告訴你們一個最大的祕密。”他的家人催他趕緊說。
斯坦尼斯說，“在我結婚之前，我什麼都有：靚車，美女，還有大把大把的錢。但是一個好朋友警告我說，‘你應該結婚，建立一個家庭，否則當你奄奄一息躺在牀上時，都沒個人會爲你端茶倒水。’於是我聽取了他的建議，離開了姑娘們，娶了一個妻子。我不再把錢花在啤酒上，而是留下來給孩子們買吃的。我賣掉了我的法拉利，投資了大學基金。所以現在纔有了你們。可你們知道嗎?”
“知道什麼?”
“我現在一點都不渴啊!”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇四My capital has been frozen 我的資產已被凍結
My cousin always "borrows1" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives himcrazy2.
One day, she found3 the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator4.
Inside5 was6 this note: "Dear sister, I hope7 you'll understand, but my capital8 has been frozen9."
我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿裏“借錢”，她哥哥對此事感到很憤怒。
一天，表妹四處尋找，最後竟然在冰箱裏發現了撲滿。
撲滿裏有張紙條：“親愛的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產現在已被凍結。”
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