關於短篇英文笑話閱讀

話作爲一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起着重要作用。本站小編整理了關於短篇英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於短篇英文笑話：The Talking Frog

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?

The boy said, "Look I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

　　關於短篇英文笑話：Frog Loan

There was a man, called Paddywhack, who worked in a very prestigious bank. One day a frog came in asking for a car loan. So he gave the frog the loan application papers. As the frog was filling them out, Paddywhack was looking over his shoulder. In the space for 'Father' the frog wrote in 'Mick Jagger'. Paddywhack said nothing. Then he asked the frog if he had enough money for a deposit. The frog said he didn't but produced a strange looking colourful glass sculpture that he said was worth a whole heap of money. Paddywhack said he'd have to talk to his boss about this, so he took the forms and the glass sculpture into his boss' office. He told his boss about the papers and asked him if he knew what the sculpture was. To which his boss replied,

"It's a nic nac Paddywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

　　關於短篇英文笑話：Jesus is Watching

Late one night, a burgler broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, he heard a voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Nothing happened, so the burgler crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you" - said the voice.

The burgler stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around. In a dark corner he spotted a bird cage with a parrot in it.

"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.

"Yes" said the parrot.

The burgler breathed a sigh of relief, then asked the parrot, "What's your name?"

"Clarence" answered the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burgler. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot's answer: "The same idiot who named the Bulldog, Jesus."

　　關於短篇英文笑話：The Goony Bird

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

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