殘忍而美麗的情誼:The Kite Runner 追風箏的人(18)
Sitting cross-legged, sunlight and shadows of pomegranate leaves dancing on his face, Hassan absently plucked blades of grass from the ground as I read him stories he couldn't read for himself. That Hassan would grow up illiterate like Ali and most Hazaras had been decided the minute he had been born, perhaps even the moment he had been conceived in Sanaubar's unwelcoming womb--after all, what use did a servant have for the written word? But despite his illiteracy, or maybe because of it, Hassan was drawn to the mystery of words, seduced by a secret world forbidden to him. I read him poems and stories, sometimes riddles--though I stopped reading those when I saw he was far better at solving them than I was. So I read him unchallenging things, like the misadventures of the bumbling Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey. We sat for hours under that tree, sat there until the sun faded in the west, and still Hassan insisted we had enough daylight for one more story, one more chapter.
My favorite part of reading to Hassan was when we came across a big word that he didn't know. I'd tease him, expose his ignorance. One time, I was reading him a Mullah Nasruddin story and he stopped me. "What does that word mean?"
給哈桑念故事的時候，碰到某個他無法理解的字眼，我就十分高興，我會取笑他，嘲弄他的無知。有一次，我給他念納斯魯丁毛拉的故事，他讓我停下來。"那個詞是什麼意思?""Which one?"
"哪個?"
"Imbecile."
"昧。""You don't know what it means?"I said, grinning.
"你不知道那是什麼意思嗎?"我一臉壞笑地說着。"Nay, Amir agha."
"不知道，阿米爾少爺。""But it's such a common word!"
"可是這個詞很常見啊。""Still, I don't know it."If he felt the sting of my tease, his smiling face didn't show it.
"不過我還是不懂。"就算他聽到我話中帶刺，他也是不露聲色地微笑着。"Well, everyone in my school knows what it means,"I said. "Let's see. ‘Imbecile.'It means smart, intelligent. I'll use it in a sentence for you. ‘When it comes to words, Hassan is an imbecile.'"
"這麼說吧，在我們學校，人人都認識這個詞。"我說，"讓我看看,'昧'，它的意思是聰明、機靈。我可以用它來給你造句。'在讀書識字方面，哈桑夠昧。'""Aaah,"he said, nodding.
"啊哈。"他點頭說。I would always feel guilty about it later. So I'd try to make up for it by giving him one of my old shirts or a broken toy. I would tell myself that was amends enough for a harmless prank.
後來我總是對此心懷愧疚。所以我試着彌補，把舊襯衣或者破玩具送給他。我會告訴自己，對於一個無關緊要的玩笑來說，這樣的補償就足夠了。Hassan's favorite book by far was the _Shahnamah_, the tenth-century epic of ancient Persian heroes. He liked all of the chapters, the shahs of old, Feridoun, Zal, and Rudabeh. But his favorite story, and mine, was "Rostam and Sohrab,?the tale of the great warrior Rostam and his fleet-footed horse, Rakhsh. Rostam mortally wounds his valiant nemesis, Sohrab, in battle, only to discover that Sohrab is his long-lost son. Stricken with grief, Rostam hears his son's dying words:
哈桑最喜歡的書是《沙納瑪》，一部描寫古代波斯英雄的10世紀的史詩。他通篇都喜歡，他喜歡那些垂垂老矣的國王：費裏敦、扎爾，還有魯達貝。但他最喜歡的故事，也是我最喜歡的，是"羅斯坦和索拉博"，講的是神武的戰士羅斯坦和他那匹千里馬拉克什的故事。羅斯坦在戰鬥中，給予他的強敵索拉博以致命一擊，最終卻發現索拉博是他失散多年的兒子。羅斯坦強忍悲慟，聽着他兒子的臨終遺言：If thou art indeed my father, then hast thou stained thy sword in the life-blood of thy son. And thou didst it of thine obstinacy. For I sought to turn thee unto love, and I implored of thee thy name, for I thought to behold in thee the tokens recounted of my mother. But I appealed unto thy heart in vain, and now is the time gone for meeting...
若汝果爲吾父，血刃親子，名節有虧矣。此乃汝之專橫所致也。汝持先母信物，吾報汝以愛，呼汝之名，然汝心難回，吾徒費脣舌，此刻命赴黃泉……"Read it again please, Amir agha,"Hassan would say. Sometimes tears pooled in Hassan's eyes as I read him this passage, and I always wondered whom he wept for, the grief-stricken Rostam who tears his clothes and covers his head with ashes, or the dying Sohrab who only longed for his father's love? Personally, I couldn't see the tragedy in Rostam's fate. After all, didn't all fathers in their secret hearts harbor a desire to kill their sons?
"再念一次吧，阿米爾少爺。"哈桑會這麼說。有時我給他念這段話的時候，他淚如泉涌，我總是很好奇，他到底爲誰哭泣呢，爲那個淚滿衣襟、埋首塵灰、悲慟難當的羅斯坦，還是爲即將斷氣、渴望得到父愛的索拉博呢?在我看來，羅斯坦的命運並非悲劇。畢竟，難道每個父親的內心深處，不是都有想把兒子殺掉的慾望嗎?
