經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第24章8

“Yes! A monstrous creature from the pit of hell with scything teeth ten thousand miles long, breath that would boil oceans, claws that could tear continents from their roots, a thousand eyes that burned like the sun, slavering jaws a million miles across, a monster such as you have never… never… ever…”
“And they made sure they sent you lot off first did they?” inquired Arthur.
“Oh yes,” said the Captain, “well everyone said, very nicely I thought, that it was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.”
“Oh yes,” agreed Ford, “I can see that would be very important. And the other ships, er… they followed on after you did they?”
“Ah. Well it’s funny you should say that,” he said and allowed himself a slight frown at Ford Prefect, “because curiously enough we haven’t heard a peep out of them since we left five years ago… but they must be behind us somewhere.”
He peered off into the distance again.
Ford peered with him and gave a thoughtful frown.
“Unless of course,” he said softly, “they were eaten by the goat…”
“Ah yes…” said the Captain with a slight hesitancy creeping into his voice, “the goat…” His eyes passed over the solid shapes of the instruments and computers that lined the bridge. They winked away innocently at him. He stared out at the stars, but none of them said a word. He glanced at his first and second officers, but they seemed lost in their own thoughts for a moment. He glanced at Ford Prefect who raised his eyebrows at him.
“It’s a funny thing you know,” said the Captain at last, “but now that I actually come to tell the story to someone else… I mean does it strike you as odd Number Two?”
“Errrrrrrrrrrr…” said Number Two.

“是的！一隻來自地獄的巨型怪物，它那鐮刀般的牙齒足有一萬英里長，它的呼吸將使海洋沸騰，它的利爪將把大陸連根拔起，它的千隻眼睛就像噴吐烈焰的太陽，它的下顎足有百萬英里寬，一隻怪獸，你從來沒有……沒有……從來……”
“他們決定首先派遣你們出發，是嗎？”阿瑟問道，
“哦，是的，”艦長說，“嗯，每個人都這麼說，我想，覺得這樣確實很不錯。讓全體民衆感到他們將要去的新行星上可以剪出很捧的髮型，這兒的電力也將足夠。乾乾淨淨的——這非常重要。”
“哦，當然，”福特讚許道，“肯定非常重要。另外兩艘飛船呢，嗯……它們跟在你們後面，是嗎？”
“嚷，呃，你一說我還真覺得有點奇怪。”他朝福特長官微微皺了皺眉頭，說道，“自從我們五年前出發以後，一直沒有收到過他們的消息……不過他們一定是在我們身後的某個地方。”
他的目光投向遠方。
福特隨着他望過去，若有所思地皺了皺眉。
“當然，除非，”他輕輕地說，“他們被那隻山羊給吃掉了。”
“噢，是啊”艦長說，一絲遲疑爬進他的聲音裏，“山羊”他的目光掠過艦橋上排列的儀表和電腦，它們無辜地衝他閃爍着。他盯着外面的星空，但沒有一顆是會說話的。他瞟了一眼自己的大副和二副，他們看上去似乎也迷失在他們自己的思緒中了。他又瞟了瞟福特長官，發現他對自己揚起了眉頭。
“真是件有趣的事，你知道：”艦長最後說，“不過，既然說起這個問題，……我的意思是，你有什麼想法嗎，一號，”
“嗯、嗯、嗯、嗯、嗯……”一號不知道該說什麼。