初一英語幽默故事短文欣賞
幽默,作爲快樂的源泉之一,存在於生活的方方面面。它不僅給人們帶來了笑聲,也給人們帶來了健康和對生活的滿足感。小編精心收集了初一英語幽默故事短文，供大家欣賞學習!
In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.
軍隊裏的一個連的士兵決定捉弄捉弄他們連的炊事員，一個又矮又胖又弱小的年輕人。就這樣，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一個士兵會往他的靴子裏大便。令人吃驚的是這個炊事員平靜地接受了這種待遇。每天早上他都會弄乾淨他的靴子然後若無其事地去工作。
After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”
就這樣過了幾個星期，士兵們開始厭煩了這種遊戲。因爲那個炊事員從來沒有任何反應，使得這種捉弄根本沒那麼有意思，也讓他們覺得有些內疚。所以，他們派了一個代表去向那個炊事員道歉並保證以後不再那麼做了。當那個炊事員聽他們說出了真相後說:“你們真的不往我的靴子裏大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你們的咖啡裏小便了。”
初一英語幽默故事短文篇2The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…”
一個女人離開家兩天，到另一個城市去看望一個生病的朋友。當她回來的時候，她的小兒子見到她就說:“媽媽，你猜怎麼着?昨天我在你臥室的衣櫃裏玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走進了臥室，他們脫了衣服上了你的牀……”
Sonny’s mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. " The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，"I' m leaving you. I' m packing now and I' m leaving you.”
媽媽抓住他的手說:“不要講了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我講的全部講給他聽。”孩子的爸爸回來了。當他走近房間的時候他的妻子說:“我要離開你。我現在就收拾好行李，我要走了。”
"But why--"asked the startled father.
“但是，這是爲什麼?”他吃驚地問。
"Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.”
“講給他聽，兒子，把你告訴我的講給他聽聽。”
"Well,”Sonny said，"I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when Daddy was away last summer.”
“好吧，”那個小傢伙說，“我正在你臥室的衣櫃裏玩的時候，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨上樓來，然後他們脫了衣服上了牀。然後，他們就像是去年夏天爸爸不在家時你和約翰叔叔一樣。”
初一英語幽默故事短文篇3One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…
一天深夜，一個男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子問他去哪了(她有些懷疑他的話)。
Wife: "Where were you?"
妻子:“你去哪了?”
Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”
丈夫:“我去了一個叫金色酒吧的新開張的酒吧。裏面的一切都是金的。”
Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”
妻子:“你真去了嗎? 根本沒有這種地方!”
Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”
丈夫:“有!那裏有一扇大金門，金地板和金的便池!”
Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”
妻子:‘好，就算我惻言你!”
So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…
第二天，他的妻子在電話號碼簿裏查金色酒吧的電話。使她吃驚的是金色酒吧就在他們住的小鎮的另一頭。她決定打電話過去證實一下她丈夫的話。
Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"
妻子:“這裏是金色酒吧嗎?”
Bartender: "Yes it is.”
酒吧服務員:“是的，金色酒吧。”
Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "
妻子:“你們那裏是不是有一扇金色大門?”
Bartender: "Yes we do…”
酒吧服務員:“是的，我們有......”
Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"
妻子:“你們的地板也是金色的?”
Bartender; "We have them, too…”
酒吧服務員:“是的，這也對……”
Wife: "What about golden urinals?"
妻子:“那有沒有金色便池?”
Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max，I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”
酒吧服務員在電話那頭問:“嘿，馬克斯，我認爲那天有人往你的高音薩克斯裏小便的事有線索了。”
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