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自由職業很愜意?知道真相好心塞!

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I feel like I've been hired by Dateline to write this exposé (related: if you are a Dateline producer, have your people call my people--we'll do lunch).
我感覺我自己像是爲Dateline 來寫這篇文章的(如果你是Dateline的製作人,讓你的下屬聯繫我們——我們可以一起共進午餐)。

Time and time again, I hear from folks who are freelance-curious (nothing wrong with exploring new lifestyles) who think working for yourself amounts to a walk in the park. Literally, more walks in the park than actual work.
我又一次聽到對自由職業好奇的人(探索新的生活方式並沒有錯)說起給自己打工就像在公園散步一樣簡單容易。事實上,實際工作比你想象的複雜。

Let me break it down for you, and bring your dreams of money-fights back to reality...
讓我給你慢慢道來,打破你的賺錢夢,帶你迴歸現實...

自由職業很愜意?知道真相好心塞!

Myth No. 1: You can work from home in your underwear! 
神話1:你可以穿着內衣在家上班!

Reality: The only reason you're working at home in your underwear is because you're so busy you haven't had time to get four days. And now, your mother is coming over to visit and you also realize that you haven't done dishes or even bathed in the last four days, either.
現實是:穿內衣在家工作的唯一原因是你忙得連衣服都沒時間穿...長達四天時間。現在,當你老媽來看你時,你才意識到四天時間既沒有洗碗,也沒有洗澡。

Myth No. 2: All freelancers make a ton of money!
神話2:所有的自由職業者都能賺很多錢!

Reality: Hold off on buying that 157-ft. yacht for a few minutes. Sure, you can charge decent money as a freelancer, but those rates also need to cover ALL your expenses, including MacBooks, iMacs, iPhones, Apple Watches, and even a few non-Apple products (like software, a desk, a chair, an internet connection, website hosting, a mailing list, etc., etc., etc.). You also need to think about insurance, savings and investing, and paying a large chunk of your hard-earned cash money to the government.
現實是: 先等會兒再買下那個157英尺的遊艇。無疑,做自由職業者可以有一份體面的工資,但是那也得用來支撐你所有的支出,包括蘋果電腦,iMacs,蘋果手機,蘋果智能手錶,還有一些非蘋果的產品(像軟件,桌子,椅子,寬帶,虛擬主機,郵寄名單等等等等等)。此外,你也得考慮保險,儲蓄,投資,還有把你辛苦掙來的大把血汗錢上繳國家。

Myth No. 3: No more bosses means no more stresses!
神話3:沒有老闆就沒有壓力!

Reality: Know how you get hired by clients who give you money and expect work? Well, those people are your new bosses. And instead of having one boss, you've now got ALL OF THE BOSSES. They all want your time, your attention, and for you to reply to their 14 emails right now. Even though you're your own boss (think Mona from that show in the '80s), you still have to answer to a lot of other people.
現實是:知道那些給你錢讓你幹活的顧客是怎麼僱用你的嘛?好吧,這些人也就是你的新老闆。你不再是隻有一個老闆了,所有顧客都成了你的老闆。他們都需要你花時間,要你關注,讓你立馬回覆他們的14封郵件。即便你是你自己的老闆,你仍然需要親自應付很多人。

Myth No. 4: You now have free time all the time!
神話4:你一直都有空餘時間!

Reality: Sure, technically you can brush off work on a Wednesday to day-drink in your underwear and binge on Netflix. Really, though, if you aren't working, you aren't making money. Which is why most freelancers will work more than 40 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else.
現實是:理論上來說,你是可以在一個星期三扔掉工作,穿着內衣小酌,或是一直在網飛上刷劇。可是,如果你不上班,你也沒錢賺。這就是爲什麼大多數自由職業者不願爲別人一週幹40小時,卻仍然一週工作超過40個小時的原因。

Myth No. 5: Your work can't even be considered work anymore because it's so awesome to do!
神話5:你的工作不是工作,因爲你做的事簡直很酷!

Reality: Until someone monetizes Netflix-binging as a career, working for yourself still means a whole lot of work. Especially in the beginning, you'll have to work harder than ever because you aren't just responsible for doing the work, you're also responsible for FINDING the work. That takes time. Sometimes a METRIC TON of time. Seriously though, someone please find a way that I can monetize binge-watching TV series on Netflix....
現實是:除非有人能將在網飛上刷劇定爲一種職業,爲自己工作仍舊需要幹很多活。特別是在剛開始,你不得不比以前更加努力因爲你不再是隻負責做一項工作,你還負責挖掘工作。這需要時間,有時會花掉一大把時間。說真的,有沒有人能讓我把在網飛上刷劇當成一份職業啊....

Myth No. 6: No more red tape or corporate bureaucracy!
神話6:沒有繁文縟節,也沒有公司官僚主義!

Reality: All the administrativia that goes with working for a company will now be replaced with you having to do ALL OF THE JOBS. Payroll, accounting, legal, sales, marketing, and project on top of the work you are getting hired to do.
現實是:在公司工作時的所有行政工作都將由你代勞。工資,財務,法務,銷售,市場還有項目管理...以上所有工作你都得做。

Myth No. 7: Now you can be that lone wolf you've always wanted to be!
神話7:現在你可以成爲你一直憧憬的獨行俠!

Reality: Loners and introverts can be drawn to freelancing, with visions of sitting alone all day, listening to Sigur Rós and not having to talk to anyone. Unfortunately, clients like to communicate with you, and building your brand and awareness of your services requires lots and lots of connecting. You can't just sit in your fortress of solitude and watch streams of work flow your way.
現實是:帶着能夠獨自待一天,默默一人聽着Sigur Rós的願景,獨行者和孤僻家一定憧憬自由職業。不幸啊,一方面客戶想要和你交流,一方面建立你自己的品牌,提升你的服務需要很多很多的溝通。你不能只是守着你孤獨的堡壘,讓工作流擦肩而過。

Myth No. 8: Freelancing is great for people when you can't hold down a job!
神話8:當你保不住工作時,自由職業是一件很好的選擇!

Reality: Many folks are drawn to freelancing because they don't want to work for the WOMAN, MAN, or ROBOT OVERLORD. But if you're too flaky to hold down a job, then you're going to be way too flaky to work for yourself. There won't be anyone looking over your shoulder to make sure the work is getting done. There'll just be pissed off clients who don't want to pay you because you bailed on the deadlines they gave you.
現實是:很多人憧憬着自由職業,因爲他們不願意爲任何女人,男人或者是機器主子幹活,但是如果不靠譜到保不住工作,那麼你爲你自己工作也不會靠譜到哪去。這裏沒有人會監督你確保你做完你的工作。這裏只會有不付錢惱怒的顧客,因爲你違反了他們規定的截止日期。

Myth No. 9: All you need is a website!
神話9:你只需要一個網站就好!

Reality: Too many new freelancers think that their portfolio website is a money-printing machine. All you need to do is set it up and watch the money roll in! This couldn't be further from the truth--if the right people aren't finding your website, trusting your work, and understanding the problem that your services solve, your site will sit, collect dust, and never be Google's BFF.
現實是:很多新的自由職業者以爲他們的個人網頁就是印鈔機。你只需要設置一下,就等錢滾滾而來!現實並非如此——如果客戶沒有找到你們的網站,不信任你的工作,不明白你的服務解決了什麼問題,那麼你的網站也只能閒置,蓋灰,永遠不會成爲谷歌的好朋友。

Don't get me wrong, working for yourself can amount to the most awesome and rewarding choice you'll ever make. But only if you do it right (and by "do it right," I mean, "put a ton of work into it").
別誤會,自由職業還是一個很有意思且回報頗豐的選擇,但前提是你方法正確(所謂方法正確,我的意思就是多賣力的去工作)。

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