可以毀掉一樁婚姻的5個育兒錯誤

I've been married for eight years and a parent for six. I'm not an expert at either, but I've made enough mistakes to speak to what doesn't work. My marriage is far from ruined, but each and every one of these parenting stumbles has put a strain on my partnership. Thankfully there's room for mistakes and friction in a strong relationship, but left unchecked these argument starters could become marriage enders. Nobody is the perfect parent or the perfect partner and trying to be good at both is no easy feat, but avoiding these pitfalls certainly can't hurt.
我結婚八年、育兒六年。雖然我既不是婚姻專家，也不是育兒專家，但我犯過太多的錯誤，現在可以談談什麼是沒有用的。我離離婚還早着呢，但每一次的育兒錯誤都使我們的感情關係萬分緊張。幸運的是，強大的感情關係中是有犯錯誤和摩擦的空間的，但是放任這些爭論不管不顧只會造成婚姻的終結。沒有人是完美的父母或伴侶，成爲一位優秀的父母和伴侶並非易事，但是避開這些陷阱並沒有什麼壞處。

1. Not making time for each other. Let's face it, raising kids takes tons of time and energy but you've got to make sure that you reserve some of that for your partner. Find time have fun, laugh, be intimate, and remind each other why you started a family together in the first place.
1. 沒有爲對方騰出時間。讓我們承認這一點吧，撫養孩子需要大量的時間和精力，但也要確保爲自己的愛人留出時間和精力。騰出時間一起玩笑、親密無間，讓對方想起當初之所以願意與你一起組成家庭的原因。

2. Not making time for yourself. Another mistake that's so easy to make is losing yourself completely to your family. You've got to make time for yourself. It's not selfish, it's essential.
2. 沒有爲自己騰出時間。另一個容易犯的錯誤就是自己很容易完全沉陷於家庭之中。你必須要爲自己留些時間。這並不是自私，這是必要的。

3. Not having fun as a family. Interacting as a family unit, especially when it's something fun, is a great way to boost marital morale.
3. 家庭不快樂。以家庭爲單位進行互動，尤其是遇到有趣的事情的時候，能夠大大的增強婚姻士氣。

Don't shoulder the burden of all the chores and childcare and then harbor resentment that you must do it all.
不要承擔所有家庭事務和育兒的重擔，然後又抱怨自己不得不承擔一切。

4. Not asking for help. If you're going to find the time for yourself, your partner, and your family, you're going to need help. You can't be afraid to ask for it. It's especially important that your significant other knows what you need from them. Don't shoulder the burden of all the chores and childcare and then harbor resentment that you must do it all. Ask for help and make sure you get it.
4. 沒有尋求幫忙。如果你想要爲自己、伴侶、家庭留些時間，那麼就需要找人幫忙。不要害怕尋求幫助。讓你人生中重要的人知道你需要從他們身上獲得什麼是十分重要的。不要承擔所有家庭事務和育兒的重擔，然後又抱怨自己不得不承擔一切。開口請人幫忙吧，並確保別人會幫你。

5. Differing discipline. While it's extremely important that both parents are allowed their own parenting style it is also key that they don't undermine each other. Do your best to get on the same page and act as a united front, nothing breeds resentment like being thrown under the bus. It's especially unfair if one parent is always required to be the disciplinarian.
5. 不同的紀律。儘管不同的家長有不同的一套育兒方式尤爲重要，但這些育兒方式不相互破壞也同樣重要。儘量保持一致，統一戰線行動，沒有什麼比被別人推下水更容易滋生怨恨了。一方家長總是要用自己的一套紀律管教孩子是尤爲不公的。