一分鐘的英文小笑話閱讀
冷笑話是近幾年出現的一個新詞,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象,它具有強大的生命力。本站小編整理了一分鐘的英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
No Fooling!
不要瞎混!
"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "
“請對我溫柔一些，親愛的!”新婚之夜新娘對新郎說道。“我是個處女。”
"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her husband with surprise.
“你是個處女?”她丈夫吃驚地叫道，
"But you've been married three times. "
“可是你已經結過三次婚了啊。”
"That's true. dear; but my first husband was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;
“沒錯，親愛的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位藝術家，他只想看我的身體。
my second husband was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;
我的第二任丈夫從事廣告業，而他只是告訴我那件事會有多美好。
and my third husband was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "
我的第三任丈夫是位律師，他總是說：“下星期我就回來看你。”
一分鐘的英文小笑話篇二Getting into His Work
專注於工作
The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invitedher to his private quarters to discuss her confession.
一位神父非常關切教區內一位年輕美麗的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住處討論她的懺悔。
"Now, let me get this straight," said the priest. "This young man you went out with did he puthis arm around your shoulder like this?"
“現在讓我把事情搞清楚，”神父說道，“這個年輕人跟你出去他是不是像這樣把他的手臂繞在你的肩膀?”
"Yes, Father, and worse. "
“是的，神父，還有更糟的事情呢。”
"And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?"
“他也像這樣把手放在你的大腿上嗎?"
"Yes, Father, and worse. "
“是的，神父，還有更壞的呢。”
By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl's skirt and gave her avigorous humping. "And did he do this?" he inquired.
此時神父已被刺激得興奮莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元氣充沛地和她做起愛來，“他也這樣做嗎?"神父問道。
"Yes, Father, and worse, "
“是的，神父，還有更糟的呢!”
“ But what could be worse than what Ijust did?"
“有什麼還比我剛剛所做的更糟呢?"
"I'm afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap."
“恐怕，神父，他把淋病傳染給我了。”
一分鐘的英文小笑話篇三我沒有把藥吃下去
A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.
有位理解能力相當遲緩的老兄一直爲便祕所苦，因此醫生給他一些利腸的栓劑。
A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.
一星期後病人回來告訴醫生，他的狀況尚未改進。
"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"
“我覺得好奇怪，”醫生說。“你有沒有采用我開給你的藥方呢?”
"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"
“你以爲我做什麼呢?難道要我把它們都塞進屁股裏嗎?”
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