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關於特別好笑的英語笑話

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近些年,冷笑話作爲一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯網、電視節目、書籍雜誌上廣泛流傳。小編精心收集了關於特別好笑的英語笑話,供大家欣賞學習!

關於特別好笑的英語笑話
  關於特別好笑的英語笑話:Giving you a new start 讓你重新獲得新生

One day Mark Twain read an announcement of his death in a newspaper. He hastened to the editor to protect.

"I am very sorry," the editor replied. "It's a terrible mistake, but it's too late to do much about it. The best thing I can do for you is to put you in the Birth Column tomorrow morning and give you a new start."

一天,馬克·吐溫在報上讀到一則關於他的死亡訃告。他急忙趕到編輯那兒以示抗議。

“非常抱歉,”編輯說,“這是一個可怕的錯誤,但是要彌補已爲時太晚。我唯一能爲您做的事情是將您刊登在明天早晨出版的廣告出生欄中,讓您重新獲得新生。”

  關於特別好笑的英語笑話:She Didn't Laugh 她沒有笑

The boss was telling jokes. Everyone laughed uproariously. But a girl sitting in the corner was not amused.

"What's the matter?" complained the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" The girl said, "Oh, don't have to laugh, as I'm leaving tomorrow."

老闆在講笑話,大家都在哈哈大笑,可是坐在角落裏的一個姑娘沒有被逗樂。

老闆不滿地說:“怎麼啦?你就沒有一點幽默感嗎?”姑娘回答說:“哦,我不用笑,因爲我明天就要離職了。”

  關於特別好笑的英語笑話:How many vice presidents 副主管多着呢

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing. They even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"

"Really?" Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decide to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says. "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"

The clerk replies. "Canned or frozen?"

湯姆被公司提拔爲副主管,湯姆太興奮了,幾周以來一直在妻子面前誇耀着。

最後,妻子實在忍無可忍,就跟湯姆說:“聽着,這沒什麼,雜貨店裏賣豌豆的還有副主管呢!”

“真的嗎?”湯姆不確定這是真是假,於是決定打電話給雜貨店。

一個售貨員接了電話,湯姆問:“能讓管豌豆的副主管接電話嗎?”

售貨員回覆:“是要負責罐裝的還是負責冷凍的副主管呢?”

  關於特別好笑的英語笑話:Different idea 想法不同

A young man and his girlfriend were sitting together imagining their happy life in the future.

The young man said, "How free and happy it would be, if we were two little birds, then we could fly out into the great world and build our nest in the top of a tree."

But his girlfriend said, "I think it would be much more enjoyable to be married and to have a flat with two rooms and a toilet, a bath room, a kitchen with a gas stove and warm water."

一個小夥子和他的女朋友坐在一起,想象他們未來的幸福生活。

小夥子說:“假若我們是兩隻小鳥,能飛到廣闊的天地去,把我們的窩建築在樹頂上,那會多麼自由快樂呀!”

可是她的女友說:“我認爲結了婚,有一套兩室一廳的住房,有衛生間、洗澡間和帶煤氣竈與熱水的廚房,那會更加愜意得多。”

  關於特別好笑的英語笑話:The Day off from work 丈夫休息在家

My husband was enjoying the day off from work and watched me scurry about the house.

I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing,washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts. Seeing a thoughtful look on his face, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.

"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."

丈夫今天放假,就在家看着我忙家務活兒。

我撿起他的髒衣服,收拾好他的皮鞋,拿走前一天晚上他看橄欖球時吃過爆米花的碗,洗了盛早餐的盤子,擦乾淨他濺出來的咖啡,熨好了他的襯衫。看到他臉上露出沉思的表情,我不知道他是不是意識到他給我帶來了多少不必要做的家務活。也許他會來幫忙。“你在呆呆的尋思什麼呢?“我說。

“我正在想,“他回答,“我最喜歡你的一點是你總是不讓自己閒着。”


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