關於爆笑英文小笑話欣賞
前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裏有人,哪裏就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是關於爆笑英文小笑話，希望對大家有幫助!
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news and some very bad news."
The patient, resigned to his fate, says, "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
"The lab called with your test results," the doctor began. "Unfortuanately, you've got a rare condition and they said you have 24 hours to live."
"24 Hours!?" exclaimed the patient. "Thats terrible! What could be worse than that? What's the very bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
關於爆笑英文小笑話：I Dream of JeannieTwo men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To theamazement of the castaways, a genie came forth!
This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
關於爆笑英文小笑話：An economical budget 節儉預算I was working at a booth at the Los Angeles Home and Garden Show.
Next to me was a woman demonstrating a shower saver. As she was telling a passer-by the qualities of the device, she mentioned that it saved 25000 gallons of water a year. The man stood as if deep in thought. Finally, the woman asked if he had any questions.
"No," he replied. "I am just trying to figure out where I'll store all the water."
我在洛杉磯一家賣家庭和花園用具的攤棚工作。
我隔壁攤位的女士說賣沐浴節水器的，當她向一位過路人推銷淋浴電器時，她提到了這個節水器每年可省下2.5萬加侖的水。那位過路人站在那裏好像深思什麼。最後，攤主問他有什麼問題沒有。
“沒有”，他說：“我只是在想我把這些節省下來的水儲存到哪兒去呢?”
關於爆笑英文小笑話：No manners? 沒禮貌?When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?
傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裏數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月爲止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。
第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克擡頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：我叔叔幾月走的?
關於爆笑英文小笑話：I Owe You for a FloatMr Smith worked in a post office and three years ago, when he was sixty, he retired. Now he and his wife stay at home and his children work in another city. The old woman does all housework and he has nothing to do at home. He likes neither reading nor watching games. At first he didn't know how to spend the spare time. Mr Hunt who was two years older than him asked him to go fishing with him.
"It's a good sport," said Mr Hunt, "I'm sure you will soon be interested in it."
"But I cann't fish at all, you know."
"That's easy. Go fishing with me tomorrow morning and I'll teach you."
Mr Smith decided to try his luck. The following day the two old friends came to a river and began to fish. Suddenly Mr Smith said, "How much do those little red things cost?"
"You mean the floats? Oh, they are cheap. What made you ask me such a question?"
"I owe you one. Mine has just sunk ."
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