爆笑三分鐘英語笑話精選
擁有豐富的百科知識和認知操作是聽者解讀內涵笑話的基礎。下面是本站小編帶來的三分鐘英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
交通運輸工具上的工程(中英)
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U. S. auto maker for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four heel drive pick一up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
國家交通運輸安全委員會最近宣佈，在過去的五年中他們祕密資助美國汽車製造商進行了一項工程。汽車製造商們爲四輪輕便小卡車安裝了黑匣子，這樣就可以知道在重大的交通事故發生前最後}S秒鐘的情況。
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 74.7 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!”
他們驚奇地發現，在50個州中的49個，有74.7%的司機在發生嚴重的碰撞前，說的最後一個詞是“該死的!”
Only the state of Texas was different, where 92. 3 percent of the final words were, "Hey Y’all，hold my beer and watch this!"
只有德克薩斯州的司機與衆不同，92. 3%的德州司機的最後一句話是:“嘿，夥計，拿好我的啤酒，小心!”
三分鐘英語笑話閱讀紀念日(中英)
When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash.
比爾和希拉里剛結婚的時候，比爾說:“我在我們的牀下放了一個盒子。你要答應我不打開看。”他們結婚三十年了，希拉里一直都沒有打開過那個盒子。可在他們結婚30週年紀念日的下午，希拉里再也忍不住她的好奇心了，她掀起了盒子蓋，偷偷地往裏看。盒子裏面有三個空的啤酒罐和1874. 25美元的現金。
After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box? "
晚飯後，希拉里再也掩蓋不住自己的愧疚感了。她對比爾坦白說:十分抱歉，這麼多年以來我一直遵守諾言沒有打開我們牀底下的那個盒子。可是今天，我再也禁不住誘惑了。我現在想知道你爲什麼在盒子裏保存了三個空瓶子?”
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.”
比爾想了想說:“我想經過了這麼多年，你也應該知道真相了。每當我做了對不起你的事情，我就會往牀底下的盒子裏放一個瓶子，用這個來提醒我不能再繼續錯了。”
Hillary was shocked, but said," I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together.”
希拉里大吃一驚，可她說:“我很失望和難過，可我想你一直在外奔波了這麼多年，一定會遇到很多外界的誘惑，比起我們在一起相處的這麼多年，3次又算得了什麼呢。”
They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"
他們擁抱在了一起，一切又恢復了平靜。過了一會兒，希拉里問比爾:“那麼爲什麼盒子裏還有那麼多錢呢?”
Bill answered，"Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.”
比爾回答說:“只要盒子裏裝滿了空瓶子，我就把它們拿到回收站去換成現金。”
三分鐘英語笑話學習逛購物中心(中英)
A boy and his father visiting from a third world country were at Lakeside Mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
一對來自第三世界國家的父子來到了湖岸購物中心。他們被眼前的一切驚呆了，特別是兩面發光的銀牆，這牆不但可以分開，還可以合上。
The boy asked his father, "What is this father?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!”
兒子問父親:“爸爸，這是什麼?”爸爸回答說:“兒子，我這輩子還從來沒見過這東西呢，我也不知道這是什麼。”
While the boy and his father were watching wide一eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving wails and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 years old woman stepped out.
這對父子睜大了眼睛，他們看見一位坐輪椅的老太太，搖到那面會移動的牆面前按了一下按鈕，牆打開了，老太太搖着輪椅從兩面牆的中間穿了過去，進了一個小屋子裏。牆合上了。男孩和他的爸爸看到牆上閃動着的寫有數字的小圓燈在向上移動。他們又看到那小圓燈又向相反的方向移動。牆打開了，從裏面走出一位約24歲迷人的女人。
The father said to his son, "Go to get your mother".
爸爸對兒子說:“走，快去把你媽叫來。”
