爆笑五年級英語笑話大全
書面笑話遠在先秦時期即已產生,民間以口頭形式流傳的笑話當爲更早。下面是本站小編帶來的五年級英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
(一)
律師的諮詢費
A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?”
有個人打電話給律師，問道：“你回答三個問題的收費是多少錢?”律師回答說：“四百美元。”
The lawyer said, “$400 dollars!”And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”The lawyersaid, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”
這個人說：“這要不少錢，不是嗎?”律師回答說：“我想是吧!你的第三個問題是什麼?”
(二)
Ashamed Soldier 慚愧的士兵
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter.
彼得十八歲那年參了軍，他需要參加幾個月的學習以成爲一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射擊不行。一天他和夥伴們練習射擊，除了彼得其他人都沒有問題。
After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!
他射了九次，一次也沒有命中目標。這時，教新兵射擊的教官說：彼得，你看來是沒希望了，不要連最後一發子彈都浪費掉!去那堵牆後面用它向自己打一槍吧。
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a ens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.
彼得感到非常慚愧。他走到那堵牆後面。幾分鐘後，教官和新兵們聽到一聲槍響。上帝!教官叫起來，難道那個笨蛋真的朝自己開槍了?他急忙跑到那堵牆後面，發現彼得安然無恙。對不起，長官，他說，我還是沒有命中。
五年級英語笑話閱讀(一)
Brotherly love 驢子和我兄弟般的感情
Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I bedemonstrating?
老師：Cassandra，如果我看見有人在毆打一頭驢，我制止了他，我顯示出了什麼美德?
Cassandra: Brotherly love?
Cassabdra：兄弟般的關愛?
(二)
They're known for their love ofsleep, so it's not surprising this koala was far from happy when it was rudely awakened with adrenching from a garden sprinkler.
我們都知道考拉喜歡睡覺，所以當被花園的灑水車淋個溼透吵醒之後，這隻考拉當然一點都不高興。
The furry creature, which rests for up to 18 hours a day, was fast asleep in a tree when it wassoaked by a gardener watering his trees.
毛茸茸的考拉據說每天要睡上18個小時，當時正在樹上酣然入睡，結果被澆水的園丁沒注意淋了它一身。
And as these images show, the koala was more than a little peeved at its unexpected soaking.
從照片中我們可以看到，這隻考拉被意想不到的”天降奇雨”淋着了之後可是相當得不高興。
The images were taken by Matt Wilkinson, 39, in the garden of his home in Adelaide, said: 'There was a particular bad heatwave in Adelaide recently and temperatures reachedup to 40C.
照片的拍攝者是來自澳大利亞39歲的馬特-威爾金森，照片是在他位於阿德雷德市的家中花園裏拍的。他表示：“阿德雷德着最近天氣奇熱無比，溫度直逼40攝氏度。”
'The koalas hang around in a tree in my garden when it is hot, it's on the southern side of thehouse and relatively cool.
“天氣很熱的時候，考拉們會在我家花園的樹上呆着，因爲樹在房子的靠南位置，所以相對會比較清涼。”
"We use the sprinklers and garden hose to wet the house and surrounding trees when it's hotto avoid a bush fire but when I watered one of the trees, this koala got a bit of a soaking.'
“天氣比較熱的時候，我們會用灑水器和花園用的澆水軟管來給房子和周圍的樹木灑水，防止灌木發生火災。不過在我給其中一棵樹澆水的時候，這隻考拉就溼透了。”
But while the koala may look far from happy about his soaking, Mr Wilkinson said it would havehelped it cool off. He said: 'It was a boiling hot day so I'm sure it helped the koala cool down.
不過雖然考拉因爲被淋溼了看起來很不爽，威爾金森先生表示澆水可以讓它涼快一些。他說道：“那天熱得跟火爐一樣，所以我敢肯定有幫他涼快一些。”
'Koalas usually don't need to drink, as they get their moisture requirements from gum leavesbut on that day, the koala's were licking at the trunk of the tree where the water was tricklingdown. They were quite thirsty.'
“考拉一般不需要喝水，樹膠樹葉就可以滿足它們的水分需求，但那一天，我看到當水從樹上滴下來的時候，那隻考拉在舔樹幹。他們真的非常渴。”
After accidentally drenching the animal, Mr Wilkinson quickly grabbed his camera before headingto the end of his garden to take these pictures.
不小心把考拉澆到溼透，威爾金森先生迅速抓起相機衝到花園的另一端拍下了這些照片。
Either the koala was curious, or wanted tothank me, as it climbed out along the tree branch and stayed at the end of it just looking atme. It even stuck its tongue out which helped me get some great photos.'
“考拉也許是很好奇，也許是想感謝我，它沿着樹枝爬出來，停在樹枝的末端看着我。它甚至還伸出了舌頭，這可幫我拍到了不少很讚的照片。”
關於五年級英語笑話(一)
長壽祕訣 Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.I couldn't help noticing howhappy you look, she says.
一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，那女士說。
What's your secret for a long, happy life? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey aweek, eat fatty foods and never, ever , that's amazing, says the woman. How oldare you?Twenty-six.
你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。哦，真神奇，女士說。你高壽?二十六。
