經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第11章4

Trillian nodded patiently to herself, counted to an even higher number, tossed the tray lightly aside, walked to the transport room and just teleported herself the hell out of his life.
She didn’t even programme any coordinates, she hadn’t the faintest idea where she was going, she just went a random row of dots flowing through the Universe.
Anything, she said to herself as she left, is better than this.
Good job too, muttered Zaphod to himself, turned over and failed to go to sleep.
The next day he restlessly paced the empty corridors of the ship, pretending not to look for her, though he knew she wasn’t there. He ignored the computer’s querulous demands to know just what the hell was going on around here by fitting a small electronic gag across a pair of its terminals.
After a while he began to turn down the lights. There was nothing to see. Nothing was about to happen.
Lying in bed one night and night was now virtually continuous on the ship he decided to pull himself together, to get things into some kind of perspective. He sat up sharply and started to pull clothes on. He decided that there must be someone in the Universe feeling more wretched, miserable and forsaken than himself, and he determined to set out and find him.
Halfway to the bridge it occurred to him that it might be Marvin, and he returned to bed.
It was a few hours later than this, as he stomped disconsolately about the darkened corridors swearing at cheerful doors, that he heard the “wop” said, and it made him very nervous.
He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis. He laid his fingertips against the wall and felt an unusual vibration. And now he could quite clearly hear slight noises, and could hear where they were coming from they were coming from the bridge.
Computer? he hissed.
Mmmm? said the computer terminal nearest him, equally quietly.
Is there someone on this ship?
Mmmmm, said the computer.
Who is it?
Mmmmm mmm mmmmm, said the computer.
What?
Mmmmm mmmm mm mmmmmmmm.
Zaphod buried one of his faces in two of his hands.
Oh, Zarquon, he muttered to himself. Then he stared up the corridor towards the entrance to the bridge in the dim distance from which more and purposeful noises were coming, and in which the gagged terminals were situated.
Computer, he hissed again.
Mmmmm?
When I ungag you…
Mmmmm.
Remind me to punch myself in the mouth.
Mmmmm mmm?
Either one. Now just tell me this. One for yes, two for no. Is it dangerous?
Mmmmm.

崔莉安忍耐地點點頭，從一數到一個更大的數字，把托盤隨手一扔，去了傳輸室，以便儘快離開那個傢伙.
她連座標都沒輸。她根本不在意要去哪，只要走就行——宇宙中隨便哪個點都行。
“不管去哪兒，”她臨走之前自言自語道，“都比這好。”
“幹得好。”贊福德自個嘀咕着，翻了個身，繼續失眠。
第二天，他在飛船走廊裏焦躁地踱來踱去，假裝不是在找她，雖然他知道她不在這兒。電腦抱怨着問到到底怎麼了，他無視電腦的問題，用一個小小的電路塞堵住了它的終端電路。
過了一會兒，他開始關燈。什麼也看不見。什麼也不會發生了。
一天夜裏他躺在牀上——現在飛船上只有夜晚了——他決定重整旗鼓，做點什麼。他猛地坐起來，開始穿衣服。他想，宇宙中一定有人比他更不幸、更悲慘、更爲人所棄，他下定決心把那個人找出來。
在去控制檯的途中，他一閃念，想起那個人可能是馬文，於是轉身回牀上去了。
又過了幾個小時，他正在走廊裏孤獨地踏來踏去，咒罵着那些快樂的門，然後聽見“喔”聲，於是感到十分緊張。
他繃緊了神經，背靠在走廊牆上，眉頭鎖得那麼厲害，就像要用意念把瓶塞起子弄直似的。他用指尖輕觸牆壁，感覺到不尋常的振動。現在，他清楚地聽見了一些聲音，聽得出它們從哪兒來—— 它們來自控制檯。
“電腦？”他輕聲道。
“嗯？”最靠近他的電腦終端答道，同樣是大氣也不敢喘。
“飛船上是不是有其他人？”
“嗯哼。”電腦答道。
“是誰？”
“嗯哼嗯嗯哼。”電腦說。
“什麼？”
“嗯哼嗯嗯嗯哼嗯。”
贊福德把一個頭埋進雙手。
“噢，贊空啊。”他自言自語道。然後，他朝走廊另一頭望去，不遠處就是控制檯，那意有所指的聲音便來自那裏。塞住的終端電路也在那兒。
“電腦。”他有輕聲問道。
“嗯？”
“一會我要是拔了塞子……”
“嗯？”
“就叫我打自己的嘴巴。”
“嗯嗯嗯？”
“隨便哪個。現在回答我一個問題。嗯一聲表示‘是’，嗯兩聲表示‘不是’。那邊危險嗎？”
“嗯。”