十段經典無厘頭笑話雙語版
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
傑克騎車摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿着表格讓填。仞傑克填好遞上表格"還有什麼漏填的？"護士問."有！"傑克想了想說，"我是個單身漢."
Wife:You rding to te statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol。
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all The people eat meals。
妻子：你看這張報紙，據統計，死於肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。
丈夫：那有什麼？據我調查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"請原諒，你佔了我的位置."
"你的位置？你能徵明這點嗎？"
"能，我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天，夏娃問亞當："你當真愛我嗎？"
亞當無可奈何地回答："我還有的選擇嗎？"
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctorleft a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
總感到口渴
一個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了一次手術，手術後醫生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體裏了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
一個有效的方法
爸爸：傑克，你幹嘛喝這麼多水呀？
傑克：我剛纔吃了個蘋果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什麼關係呢？
傑克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot。
Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot。
Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it。
凱特的禮物
凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什麼生日禮物嗎？
媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什麼呀？
凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital。
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫生懂得多
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的牀前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”
聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動着頭說：“我沒死，我還活着。”
妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
Waste or Save
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"tyou know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven't I?
浪費還是節約
父親：噢，傑克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎？
傑克：我知道，爸爸。可我還給您節省了一頓飯呢，是不是？
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your toothyet。
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他爲什麼喊
牙醫：請你不要再喊了！我還沒碰你的牙呢。
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的腳呀
